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  • Writer's pictureDeAnza Spangler

I have not given up!

Yes it's been a couple months...ok 6 and a half, but I am still here. I have thought about writing then I think about the next thousand items on my to do list. It's like a thousand squirrels running across the road while I'm staring out the window instead of working.

Not only have I not given up on the blog, but I haven't given up on my health. Gaining a large amount of weight in a short period of time had me down...for a while...for a couple years. However I'm done with the pitty party. I'm not doing anything overnight but I'm making constant consistent changes. Got me a fitbit (so my husband can taunt me that he has 2k more steps than me). I even got a nice pair of workout shoes, and let me tell you that was a funny story in itself. Walking in to a store for people running triathlons. I don't know if you've seen me in person lately but I do not look like I fit in that category lol! So I had to ignore the stares as I walked in, you know they were thinking "Oh she's lost, the cupcake store is 2 doors down." But I met a nice little guy that helped me find a great pair of shoes that should make the pain a little less when going for an intentional brisk walk. (yes walk, let's walk before we...walk faster) Now for diet I am cutting out sodas and fast food. However my mother was quick to point out that a drive thru pizza place with a side of spaghetti probably shouldn't be part of my "eating healthy" plan. That and the large very sugary lemonade I got it...What?!? it wasn't carbonated! So yah it is a constant fight but it's giving up here.

The most important thing I haven't given up on is how the Lord sees me, my potential, and the potential of my marriage. I have really focused on embracing that lately, which is honestly why the things above have started progressing after a long stent of no progress. Funny enough I have watched the Lord use things that we would normally labeled as "unhealthy" for Christian media and reality tv. Yah I said it! I feel like I just admitted to being a drug addict. LOL. Really this season has been the ultimate example of God meeting us EXACTLY where we are. He cares so much for me that he uses tv and instagram to speak to me and renew my hope and my fight. Now don't get me wrong, this method has also required an EXTREME amount of mental fight, fighting the enemies peanut gallery comments of condemnation and comparison. But it's been so worth it. I'm so priveleged to have a heavenly Father that will use whatever it takes, things I find interest in to reach me. Now I'm obviously not saying, "go watch Survivor, it will make you want to have a War Room experience in your closet." However maybe in the "secular/world focus" times in our life we are sensitive enough to let the Holy Spirit use those times to subtly speak to deeper parts of us that we aren't willing to speak to normally.

So to sum up that thought....if God can use a donkey, he can use Big Brother. :)


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