So I toyed around with a fun name for this post. My first thought was Warning: This post is super girly, however after continuing to read through Captivating this week I got convicted of being apologetic that my post we falling on the super feminine side of the spectrum.
So this last month I dove back into the mode of taking care of myself. I bought two new face masks to try from Ulta, and I bought all of the beauty products I've been out of for months including face wash and different pieces of makeup. I also got my eyebrows done for the first time since we moved, and I also got my nails done. I'm not gonna lie, I have enjoyed it and funny enough Michael has been pretty supportive even after he saw the final $$. So yes diving into the world of beauty and taking care of myself has definitely been a nice refresher! I'm putting details of all my new fun additions with pics below. Some are staples I never go without and some are new things that I can provide updates as I keep using it.
I also tried Dia & Co this month! For those that don't know this is a clothing style subscription for sizes 14+. This was part of my attempt to embrace the size I'm in right now for as long as I'm here. First box was somewhat disappointing but I have hope for the next one coming this week so stay tuned for that soon. I want to give them a couple tries so I can give a complete thought about it.
I have enjoyed embracing this femininity this month, as superficial as it might have been. However also this month ready Captivating and an appointment with my OBGYN brought me back to wanting a baby girl. Unlike my main physician my OB is extremely supportive with me giving birth which in this season her words seem to feel like a tease. While on a drive back from Dallas listening to the book, I was hearing stories about how young girls had been treated while in some tough family environments. This was contrasted with how God created women to be loving and to long to be considered captivating by those around them. This brought a new desire, (or maybe a clearer defined desire) to give a little girl that hope and to help her embrace the specific and unique kind of lovely that God planted in her. To protect her from those that would come against that. Even writing this i get emotional and struggle for the words. This season is full of financial reconstruction and responsibility. Building a business from the ground up, stretching me to the extreme in a business sense. As well as supporting Michael in a very emotionally demanding job. The season doesn't have the room for a little one in our lives. This conflict is starting to eat at me. Not near as much as those friends I've talk to. Their ache seemed much deeper than mine.
I try to close these type of challenging and emotional posts with a thought of hope and a reminder of God's sovereignty, and this one will do the same however it will be written in faith. I'm not feeling close to the Lord or feeling a peace knowing His sovereignty, but I do know he is faithful and He wants what is best for His children.
Psalm 37
vs 3-7
3 Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. 4 Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: 6 He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.
7 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;
vs 23-28
23 The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; 24 though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.
25 I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread. 26 They are always generous and lend freely; their children will be a blessing.[b]
27 Turn from evil and do good; then you will dwell in the land forever. 28 For the Lord loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones.
This I will hold on to.